Starting Over at 58: My Journey After DOGE Disbanded USAID
A year ago, my career took an unexpected turn when DOGE made the decision to disband USAID, leading to my job loss at the age of 58. This event marked a significant shift in my life, forcing me to reassess my career path and future plans. Despite the challenges, I have managed to rebuild my professional life, but I still occasionally struggle with feelings of survivor’s guilt.
Adapting to Sudden Change
Losing my job so abruptly was a disorienting experience. My role at USAID was more than just a job; it was a passion that had defined much of my professional identity. The announcement that DOGE was dismantling the agency came as a shock, not just to me but to all my colleagues who believed in the mission of aiding international development.
The initial months following the dissolution were the toughest. At 58, I found myself competing in a job market that was vastly different from the one I had entered decades earlier. Updating my resume, learning new technologies, and networking in today’s digital age were daunting tasks. However, determination and the support from family and friends helped me find new opportunities.
Building a New Career
Gradually, I began to see the layoff as a forced but necessary pivot in my career. I explored fields related to my experience at USAID but also opened up to different industries where my skills could be transferable. This journey of exploration was both challenging and exhilarating.
After several months of job searching, countless applications, and numerous interviews, I finally received an offer that excited me. The new role allowed me to leverage my skills in project management and my background in international relations, but in a completely different context. This transition was not easy, but it was invigorating to learn and grow into a new role.
Dealing with Emotional Aftermath
Even as I celebrate my new beginning, there are times when survivor’s guilt creeps in. I think of my former colleagues who are still struggling to find their footing. The fact that I have successfully moved on sometimes feels like a betrayal to those who are still affected by the closure of USAID.
Survivor’s guilt is a complex emotion, especially when it comes after losing a job in such abrupt circumstances. I’ve learned that it’s important to acknowledge these feelings rather than suppress them. Sharing my experience and supporting others in similar situations has been therapeutic and has helped me to not only connect with others but also to heal myself.
Looking to the Future
Today, I stand on a solid foundation, having navigated one of the most challenging periods of my professional life. The journey taught me resilience and adaptability—qualities that are invaluable at any stage of a career. As I look to the future, I am optimistic and excited about the possibilities that lie ahead, even as I continue to remember and learn from the past.
While the disbanding of USAID by DOGE was a turbulent chapter, it also opened up new paths that I might never have considered otherwise. It’s been a year of significant change, personal growth, and eventual renewal. Though the feelings of guilt may never completely disappear, they are overshadowed by a sense of gratitude and optimism for what the future holds.
Ethan Caldwell is a seasoned journalist specializing in world affairs and international relations.
With over a decade of experience covering geopolitical events, he brings sharp analysis and in-depth reporting to Urimuri.
